Points of View

One of the strangest aspects of being me is the craziness that is simply my life. There are many rumors about me and the truth is stranger then fiction. There are things about me, pain I have suffered and things I've done that would scare you and other things that are going to make you say what the fuck...

I am by no means a perfect person, though I could easily say I am misunderstood. See if you knew me &, very few do, you would be surprised who I am. I won't tell you who I am but, I will tell something about me.

I am a bit of a joker and, among my many, many nicknames, I've been called an adventurer and a cowboy. I love to push the envelope and test my limits. I even get a good laugh about the online martial arts community...

Don't think that when I post blogs like When You Have No Penis that I am completely serious. Oh there is some very serious aspects to it but, at the same time don't be surprised (or may be you should be) to know that I am often typing these things and getting a good laugh out of it.

See I am not the villain people claim I am, nor am an angel either. I have lied and I do lie still but, not in the ways people expect. I do things for one of three reasons because I have to, because I think it's right or because I get some enjoyment out of it.

I do get some enjoyment out of pointing out the flaws and failures of my cyber-stalkers and haters. I find it, entertaining that people who see themselves as experts like Don Roley (who I stumped with a picture of Fujita Seiko) and Barron Shepherd who backed out of 3 challenges that were all documented but wants to claim I am scared of him because I can't a physical from the VA before December 3rd. It entertains me how much effort is put into trying to slander my name and prevent me from rebuilding my business.

You see the best people I have ever met where teachers. Not just martial arts instructors but, even a few teachers who inspired me in high school. The best leaders I had in the Army were also teachers and mentors. They didn't just lead by example but, actually took the time to educate & challenge you to be better.

I loved teaching because, I as experienced life the academic studies of martial arts didn't stay something I learned but, something I lived. Many times I had to practice the zen concept of detachment because I have lost much, at one point I lost everything. Many people would either give up and become what life tries to make you become. Other people want to try to define you by what they or others want to believe. Like those I have mentioned earlier in this blog. I have had to learn to suffer the shame of such defamation & accept that have their will be thosr with own preconceive notions because of it. Do I blame them for such? Well thats a complicated answer...

You see people will never understand things unless they experience them. The experience of false accusations and seeing those who want to use them and lie about it as if what they know are lies is the truth, makes for a real interesting observation or two. Firstly, people who don't like you will try make others not like you and will use what they know are lies for that end playing them off as truth. Secondly, those who want to feel superior want do everything they can do to make others think they are superior to you. Sadly, they often feel inferior to you and want you to feel the same way. Fuck'em they don't matter...

You see one of the most interesting observations I have ever made, has come from how people project their negative traits onto others. Have you ever seen a sex offender beat up another sex offender trying to convince other sex offenders they aren't a sex offender? I have... Its pretty funny actually.

In fact, I find it so interesting that people who have so much that I don't wife, kids, great jobs and better homes are so concerned with spreading lies and defamation. You see what they hate in me is a reflection of what they hate in themselves. So much that they aren't thankful for what they have.

Don Roley's obsession with frauds is easily linked to Hatsumi's reputation in Japan. Hatsumi is only considered legitimate by Westerners who lack the ability to reseatch Japanese historical documents. Or Japanese researchers who have.

Phil Elmore's obsession with self-defense, weapons and fighting unfairly is obviously linked to being bullied and wanting to feel powerful. Much the same with Phil's lacky Patrick Ferrari. Ultimately,  ots a sign of how powerless he feels.

Barron well... Barron Shepherd has issues with self-esteem which is why he is always trying to fit in, gain support and look tough. He wants respect but, doesn't realize those tokens of success belt ranks and so on mean nothing. They don't give you respectability.

Thus, the concern with fraudulent instructors. Thus the slander and lies because they project their own weaknesses on to me. Because they see those same weaknesses in me, they see in themselves. The thing is, at 36 I have outgrown them. I have lived the hardships and survived.

Unlike them, I can say "I did this..." and we've all seen it. They are quick to point out I was charged with making Terroristic Threats, and it was dismissed. We all know I have at least held a gun (which is illegal if I were a prohibited person) that I actually own, we all know I have survived incarceration surrounded by the very criminals most people fear. My life is far from normal and we all know it... It is sadly closer to a bad 80s action movie. And that is what they want, the adventure of having done something great.

The respect they think it gives them... But, do you know the respect it has gotten me? Do you know what it is like to have lies thrown in your face as if it is truth? Or to live in fear of the police who are there to allegedly protect you?

You see they are all missing a single point of reference... Experience. There is a movie called the 36 chambers of the Shaolin and in the movie the 36 chamber, where the Shaolin goes after he gets his brands is the real world. Because at some point training ends and living begins. What happens when you pass basic training in the Military (any branch of service) is that you go do your job and serve in the military. You live the military life style.

Those who use teaching and writing about martial arts for selfish motivations will never understand that at some point training ends. When Omoto Kioshi, awarded me my Godan, he told me "I have given you a gift, the gift of knowledge and what you do with that gift is up to you. " (or there abouts thats how I remember it). What happens after you become a "master" is the real question?

Nothing, you have completed training... Its a bit like being an adult, in more primitive cultures there is a "test" of manhood. Even then, once you've passed this test, then what? Even animals reach a point they drive out their young to find a place in the world. No master is so great, no guru so wise, that grown adults must wait on them with baited breath to express wisdom they cannot understand unless they experience life... Having experienced life and having outgrown the flaws they project onto me I don't hate these men. I pity them.

Ultimately, I will sue them and I will win. A few "jabs" taken with a much more lightened heart. A heart that has been lightened with the acceptance of pain and suffering is what drives me to my little jabs. You see there is no greater insult to those who project themselves onto you, then to see you win. Because ot si seeing someone with the same flaws as you surpass you.

You see freeing yourself of hatred and anger means acceptance of who you are both good and bad. It means not resenting in others the flaws you see in yourself.

Now if you want to know, why I am going to sue them. Because, 1. It is simply an obstacle to overcome (the defamation)  to get what I want. This cam only be done one way realistically 2. There is a way to do this and well, it must be done via a lawsuit to have the effect I want. 3. It will destory the illusions of themselves they cling to and perhaps it might allow them to grow as it has me. Ultimately,  that is something only time will tell us.

If you want respect, show it...
If you want love, give it...
If you want acceptance, accept others without conditions...
If you want enemies, attack them but don't cry when they fight back...

You see another reason for such venom from this group and others like them is fear. Yes, they are afraid of me. Not of what I can do but of what I am doing already. I am standing up to them and doing so without support. They are quick to point out Frank Dux, no longer supports me. Yet, here I stand without the Black Dragon Fighting Society and without one of our biggest names Frank Dux... Alone.

If I can do it, others can as well and we have all seen where others who aren't in the BDFS or Dux Ryu have contacted me and stood beside with stories of these people as bullies and how they have tried to disrupt their businesses as well.

You see win or lose it doesn't matter, as long as you stand up. That's what all the fuss over and fuss over the video from Lexington is other... Don Roley wants to prove I didn't stand up to him, that I "backed down." Yet, my withdrawn as a strategic decision.

Course, standing up doesn't mean walking into an obvious trap and just because you pull a tactical withdraw doesn't mean you surrender the war. Course maybe now I am the one projecting... Projecting my own intellect and deviously clever strategic mindset onto Don Roley.

But this is all my rambling on different points of view.