To say I am perfectly happy is a lie and this is meant to be an "honest blog post." No one is perfectly happy. However, I am generally happy with my life... Nothing is perfect and my life has had many tragic moments, being falsely arrested, harassed by the police and having people like Don Roley, Barron Shepherd and Phil Elmore trying so very hard to slander my name. Doesn't make it any easier when the local media whores will post stories of what you are accused of but won't post stories about the charges being dismissed or that the police and prosecutor lied...
Let me show you only two pieces of evidence, one a secret recording of a pretrial motions hearing where the Assistant Prosecutor Pat Lamp says they don't have any evidence I possessed Child Porn (the police never turned it in,ever) and that there is no mention of a Second Search Warrant mentioned on the Arrest Warrant. The second piece of evidence is the Arrest Warrant, which was never turned in as part of discovery. Discovery I never got by the way.
So why would Pat Lamp lie to Judge Kirkpatrick?
Why would the second search warrant be an issue that needs to be lied about?
The answers may shock you... Add to that the arresting officers never once turned over any discovery, even though the warrant says they had copies of the evidence. Why is that?
Piece of Evidence 1:
Now my life is not normal and sad truth is I don't know what to do with a normal life. I have lived through things that make for great movies and well, they don't make for good lives. Still I am happy...
See it is always funny watching people, attack you because they feel threatened. With all the chaos and tragedy I have this fantastic list of friends in my life, people who saw everything I went through. I have a beautiful girl friend who has a family full of people trying to come between us and who hasn't lost faith in me. More importantly, she never lost faith herself or her dreams. She never lost faith in me and a lot of people talk shit behind our backs or to our faces if they are feeling brave. She gets mean when people talk trash about us being togather.
Thing is, God blessed me to know some truly great people, to have truly great friends and associates. My life os full of complexity, chaos and challenges. Yet, here I stand (actually sitting but you understand my metaphor). My life is complicated but full of adventure and challenges. As much as certain people hate me, they also want to be me... Which is part of why they hate me.
See its easy to stay motivated and press on. Don't focus on the mistakes, the failures and the critics. Instead learn from your mistakes, look at your successes minors victories that built up to your failures and ignore the critics. Critics are either people whose lives are so miserable they want to see others miserable or they people who gave up, focused on their failures and mistakes. The worst critic you will ever face is yourself, you can't lie to yourself no matter hiw hard you try... And, you have to live with yourself regardless.
See life has beat me down, broken me a few times and its so easy to just give up and surrender. Say its too hard and quit. But, what if you can't? What if you've learned to enjoy the suck and thrive on the pain. See it is the scares that make life interesting. It is the challenges and each successful victory that leads you to developing yourself. With challenges life is just too easy and you never know how good, strong or compassionate you was if you've never been tempted to do wrong, had your strengths tested or been beaten to the point that you know real hatred and let that all go forgiving your enemies and no longer counting them as enemies.
After a while, you look at yourself and see in yourself what others see or saw in you all along. After a while, the sword no longer hates the forge that took it from raw iron to hardened steel. It craves the forge, the heat, the pressure and the hammer that made it what it was.
This is why rank is a joke to me... Being grandmasters or supreme great grand guru pubha in a martial art doesn't mean you know anything. At some point, you have to apply the martial arts to life and, this is just more then how you hit someone but how you deal with challenges and how you deal with life.
I am no teacher of mystical secrets and no wise master who spent years meditating on the secrets of the universe. I am just some guy who lived an extraordinary life and contributes much of my survival to the lessons martial arts gave me. You see "Happy" is a mind set, its knowing I had suffered worse and am thankful for the small blessings & small victories...